yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
