Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
