Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
