Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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