Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
