Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
