Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
