who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
