I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Two words: nipple clamps
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