so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
