Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The adults are the big ones right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
