Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
