well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize