Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
