i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
