So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
