ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
