I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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