his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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