Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I need to align my fucking chakras
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
