The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
