You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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