I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
