Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
