Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
