Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
