why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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