I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
