his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
