1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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