you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
