About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
