Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
