Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
