what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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