Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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