So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
