i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
