alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
