I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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