so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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