So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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