I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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