Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
