Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
