i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
