I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
