where am i from again
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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