someone threw a dead crab at me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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