Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
