also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
