I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
