I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
