you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
