Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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