i think i scared a bird with my dick
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
